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The Emotionally Intelligent Manager How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership David R. Caruso Peter Salovey The Emotionally Intelligent Manager The Emotionally Intelligent Manager How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership David R. Caruso Peter Salovey Copyright © 2004 by David R. Caruso and Peter Salovey. Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org. Material in Chapter One from Gibbs, N. “What’s your EQ?” Time, Oct. 1995, is copyright © 1995 TIME Inc., and is reprinted by permission. Several exercises in this book were provided by Sigal Barsade and adapted and reprinted with her permission (Chapter 8, Becoming Aware of Your Emotional Expressions; Chapter 9, The Advanced Course: Putting It All Together; Chapter 9, Getting into the Right Mood, Feel the Feeling; A Quick Mood; Chapter 10, Emotional Scrabble). Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact JosseyBass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax 317-572-4002. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appea; rs in print may not be available in electronic books. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Caruso, David. The emotionally intelligent manager: how to develop and use the four key emotional skills of leadership / David R. Caruso, Peter Salovey. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0–7879–7071–9 (alk. paper) 1. Leadership—Psychological aspects. 2. Management—Psychological aspects. 3. Emotional intelligence. 4. Executive ability. I. Title: Emotional skills of leadership. II. Salovey, Peter. III. Title. HD57.7.C369 2004 658.4’092—dc22 2003027933 Printed in the United States of America FIRST EDITION HB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Contents Introduction Part One: Learn About the World of Emotional Intelligence 1 2 Emotions and Reasoning at Work An Emotional Blueprint Part Two: Understand Your Emotional Skills 3 4 5 6 7 Read People: Identifying Emotions Get in the Mood: Using Emotions Predict the Emotional Future: Understanding Emotions Do It with Feeling: Managing Emotions Measuring Emotional Skills Part Three: Develop Your Emotional Skills 8 9 10 11 Read People Correctly: Improving Your Ability to Identify Emotions Get in the Right Mood: Improving Your Ability to Use Emotions Predict the Emotional Future Accurately: Improving Your Ability to Understand Emotions Do It with Smart Feelings: Improving Your Ability to Manage Emotions Part Four: Apply Your Emotional Skills 12 Managing You: Applying Your Emotional Intelligence Skills ix 1 3 24 31 33 41 52 62 74 81 83 100 115 134 157 159 vii viii 13 14 CONTENTS Managing Others: Applying Emotional Intelligence Skills with Others Building the Emotionally Intelligent Manager 173 194 Appendix 1: Assessing Your Emotional Style Appendix 2: The Emotional Blueprint Appendix 3: Further Reading and Updates Notes Acknowledgments About the Authors Index 213 245 253 257 273 275 279 Introduction Have any of these statements been made to you? Let’s not get too excited. You are being way too emotional about this. We need to look at this rationally. We are taught that emotions should be felt and expressed in carefully controlled ways, and then only in certain environments and at certain times. This is especially true when at work. It is considered terribly unprofessional to express emotion while on the job.1 We all believe that our biggest mistakes and regrets are due to being overly emotional—the times when our emotions get the better of us. After all, emotions are remnants from 300 million years ago, when they were necessary for the survival of our species.2 We believe that this view of emotion is incorrect. After 300 million years—give or take a few million—human brains have gotten bigger and more complex but still have the wiring for emotion. The emotion centers of the brain are not relegated to a secondary place in our thinking and reasoning but instead are an integral part of what it means to think, reason, and be intelligent. This is the essence of the work conducted by University of Iowa neuroscientist Antonio Damasio.3 The fundamental premise of The Emotionally Intelligent Manager is that emotion is not just important but absolutely necessary for us to make good decisions, take optimal action to solve problems, cope with change, and succeed. This does not mean that you jump with joy every time you make a sale or that you sob your heart out when you aren’t promoted. Instead, the premise of The Emotionally Intelligent Manager replaces the conventional view of emotion with an intelligent view—one that might sound like this: ix x INTRODUCTION Let’s get excited. You are not being emotional enough about this. We need to look at this emotionally—and logically. The Emotionally Intelligent Manager is organized around an abilitybased approach to emotional competencies that was developed in the late 1980s by two psychologists, John ( Jack) Mayer and Peter Salovey, and called emotional intelligence.4 This intelligent approach to emotions includes four different skills arranged in a hierarchical fashion. We explain the importance of each of the four emotional skills and provide you with concrete techniques to improve and use these skills in the workplace. These are the four emotional skills around which we build The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: 1. Read People: Identifying Emotions. Emotions contain data. They are signals to us about important events going on in our world, whether it’s our internal world, social world, or the natural environment. We must accurately identify emotions in others and be able to convey and express emotions accurately to others in order to communicate effectively. 2. Get in the Mood: Using Emotions. How we feel inﬂuences how we think and what we think about. Emotions direct our attention to important events; they ready us for a certain action, and they help guide our thought processes as we solve problems. 3. Predict the Emotional Future: Understanding Emotions. Emotions are not random events. They have underlying causes; they change according to a set of rules, and they can be understood. Knowledge of emotions is reﬂected by our emotion vocabulary and our ability to conduct emotional what-if analyses. 4. Do It with Feeling: Managing Emotions. Because emotions contain information and inﬂuence thinking, we need to incorporate emotions intelligently into our reasoning, problem solving, judging, and behaving. This requires us to stay open to emotions, whether they are welcome or not, and to choose strategies that include the wisdom of our feelings. Each ability can be isolated from the others, but at the same time, each builds on the others. Although we can measure, learn, INTRODUCTION xi and develop each skill on its own, the interrelationships among the skills, as depicted in Figure I.1, allow us to employ them in an integrated way to solve important problems. A Diagnostic Example Here is a simple example to show how this process model of thinking and feeling works. You are conducting a product development team meeting with a number of items on the agenda. There is some discussion regarding the items, and once everyone has had a chance to provide input, you ask for consensus agreement before you move on to the next item. Most of the items are discussed efﬁciently, and you have a good deal of agreement by team members. You ﬁnd that you are moving quickly through the list. of Emotiona s l lI il k n 1Identify Emotion S Become aware nce ge lli te of emotions. Express emotions. Stay open to emotions. Emotional Intelligence Let emotions influence thinking. Match emotion to the task. Fo ur Find out what emotions mean. Sk ill Conduct what- if analyses. so f E m o ti o n lli 3 - Understand Emotion te The Integrate emotions into thinking. 2 - Use Emotion nce 4 - Manage Emotion ge The Fo ur Figure I.1. Emotional Intelligence. I al n xii INTRODUCTION The next item has to do with the latest changes to the product specs requested by your internal customer—the marketing VP. Such changes are not unusual; they have been requested before in this project, and you consider these particular changes to be fairly minor. There is general agreement by the group for the need to alter the plan, and you are about to move to one of the last items on the agenda. But something holds you back, keeps you from moving on, and you pause to reﬂect brieﬂy before closing down the discussion. It’s nothing that anyone has said that gave you pause, but it certainly was something. Almost without thinking, you mentally review the requested changes and feel less sure about them. Something does not seem quite right—does not feel right to you. You consider letting this ﬂeeting feeling pass. But even though you have paused for just a few seconds, you see that the pause has had an effect on the group. They seem a bit more attentive and have drawn themselves forward in their chairs. The mood is a bit more serious. One of your senior engineers speaks up and wonders whether the changes, albeit minor, will have an impact on any of the underlying architecture. It’s an annoying question, as you have covered this ground a number of times. Again though, you reﬂect that the vague uneasiness you just felt may have something to do with this very issue. You ask for others’ input, and with the now-more-serious focus, a number of team members point out that the product changes are much less trivial than they ﬁrst appeared to be. You encourage this focused attention and analysis to continue, and in doing so, the team realizes that the system was simply not being designed with such changes in mind. Rather than looking for buy-in, you are now seeking information with which to go back to the marketing VP to demonstrate that the requested changes are not feasible. What just happened? And why did it happen? Our model of emotional intelligence begins with the awareness, recognition, and identiﬁcation of emotion. Something held you back from moving on. What was it? First, there was the look on the faces of a few of your more senior developers that indicated some subtle signs of uneasiness and caution. Second, you felt some inner discomfort, recognized it, and did not let it go. Third, you expressed your uneasiness and sense of trouble by looking down at the ﬂoor, slightly frowning, and rubbing your hand over your chin. INTRODUCTION xiii The second part of our model explains how these feelings inﬂuence thinking. The ﬂeeting feelings of worry and concern focused your attention—and the team’s attention—on a problem. Your brain, or something inside of you, is saying, “Houston, we have a problem.” Your thought processes became more attuned to search for and ﬁnd errors and inconsistencies. And you did ﬁnd them. Our process model then moves to an understanding of emotions, what causes them, and how they change. You determine that the change in the mood of the group is due to some potential issue regarding the requested product speciﬁcation change. You reason that the growing sense of uneasiness is not due to either the lateness of the hour (the meeting is on time) or to any other external issues. It seems pretty clear to you that everyone is focused—and for good reason. The fourth and ﬁnal part of our model indicates that because emotions contain data, we must stay open to them and integrate them. The very last thing you need is another project set-back. And you certainly don’t relish having to tell the marketing VP that these latest changes won’t ﬂy. Many of us in similar circumstances might try simply to ignore the uncomfortable feelings, discourage them, and direct the team’s attention to the next agenda item. But you let the feelings hold sway, allowed them to redirect attention, ﬁgured out what was going on, and then stayed open to the wisdom of these feelings to uncover a serious problem. You have just employed an emotionally intelligent approach to core functions of managing, such as planning, ﬂexible thinking, and adaptability. A focus on emotion does not make you weak or vulnerable; instead, it allows you to be much more able to face up to, and successfully cope with, conﬂict and change. This approach to managing is not just a reactive, passive analytical tool; it has a strong prescriptive and positive function. It’s not enough to uncover problems. The job of the effective manager is to solve problems, and this is where our emotional intelligence approach pays dividends. Let’s look at two approaches you, as the team manager, might use to resolve the problem you just discovered: an emotionally unintelligent approach and an emotionally intelligent approach. xiv INTRODUCTION The Emotionally Unintelligent Manager Approach In most managerial situations, we try to be rational and logical about our management responsibilities. After all, this is what we are being paid to do: to think, to decide, and to act intelligently. We get paid to think, not to worry or to feel. This approach seems sensible, but, as you’ll see, is not very effective. Accordingly, you go back to the marketing VP and tell her that the team can’t make the launch deadline if these changes are required. She looks surprised and somewhat displeased. That begins a cascade effect. Now in a negative mood, she begins to focus on details, and her search for problems and errors is enhanced. She begins to think about other promises you have made and not kept. You claim that you never actually agreed to the revised specs, and the situation degenerates even further. The result is that she is truly angry with you, as anyone would be in this situation, and you sullenly and reluctantly agree to whatever is asked of you. Not a pretty outcome, is it? You were completely rational and logical. You were calm and straightforward. And you were also quite ineffective. A truly intelligent approach to managing people must go beyond the search for a holy grail of unsullied rationalism. A Better Approach The emotionally intelligent manager prepares and plans for important social interactions. We don’t mean that you need to do a month-long strategic planning effort before each meeting you have, but the smart thing to do is to use the skills we’ve outlined to enhance your interpersonal effectiveness. Let’s return to the marketing VP situation. You know the marketing VP pretty well; you realize that if you just state the problems in a straightforward manner, she will not be very happy. Think about it. After all, you sort of mentioned that the changes didn’t seem to be all that major. In fact, you might have even said something like, “I think we can handle that.” If anything, she is expecting good news from you. What will happen if you deliver unexpected news? It will be a surprise—an unpleasant INTRODUCTION xv surprise at that—and her positive mood will likely turn negative very quickly. If you understand emotions, and if you use your emotional strategic planning ability, you will be able to avoid such an outcome. In reality, you don’t have a rote strategy that you’ll employ. You never do, because the exact approach you take must be a function of your emotional situation analysis of how the other person feels at the moment. Is the starting mood positive or negative? Let’s say that the VP seems happy and upbeat. That means that your job is to help her to maintain a slightly positive mood, which will enable her to see and to stay open to creative alternative solutions. You understand that you simply cannot announce a major problem and have her maintain her composure, so instead you indicate that you brought the latest changes to your team, and they discovered a number of issues. However, you would like to discuss some ways they came up with to deliver the functionality over a longer period of time while keeping the initial product launch date unchanged. You’ll need to stay attuned to various cues in order to determine how the approach is being received and to modify it accordingly. This won’t be easy to do, and it won’t necessarily be fun, but this is exactly why they are paying your salary. This is the job of an effective manager. The emotionally intelligent manager leverages the four skills in our model by: 1. Identifying how all of the key participants feel, themselves included 2. Using these feelings to guide the thinking and reasoning of the people involved 3. Understanding how feelings might change and develop as events unfold 4. Managing to stay open to the data of feelings and integrating them into decisions and actions Because The Emotionally Intelligent Manager combines passion with logic, emotions with intelligence, readers from opposite sides of the heart-head debate can ﬁnd value in our approach. Readers who are highly analytical and skeptical about the meaning of emotion or who prefer rationality to emotionality should ﬁnd The Emotionally xvi INTRODUCTION Intelligent Manager to be a thinking approach to emotions. Readers who embrace the emotional side of life will ﬁnd that The Emotionally Intelligent Manager provides them with a structured way of viewing their world. Emotional Intelligence and Effectiveness in Managers As managers, we have been buffeted by many a management fad and exhortation to develop new skills or risk certain failure. So we’ve dutifully gone to often terriﬁc and valuable courses on creative thinking, quality circles, and self-directed work teams. We have also been exposed to other training efforts of more dubious quality and utility. Is emotional intelligence just another course, a passing fad? Or is it something new and of lasting value? After all, anyone who has even minimal work experience knows that emotional skills are not a prerequisite for being hired or promoted. The workplace abounds with stories of emotionally unintelligent managers who were considered successful—at least to a certain point. Have you ever worked for someone who said to you, “As your boss, I can tell you what to do, and you will do it”? Such bosses believe that their autocratic style works well, and they don’t have to waste time explaining motives, soliciting cooperation, or engaging in dialogue. We’ve worked for a person like that. Karen was very “emotional,” but she motivated people by playing on their fears. She made promises she never intended to keep, told her boss things he wanted to hear, and acted, in short, like many of the managers we’ve all seen and worked for. She was a political animal, and that way of operating worked well for her in many ways. However, Karen did not seem to understand how her actions affected those of us who worked for her. Perhaps Karen would have cared if she had known, but she seemed oblivious to the feelings of her direct reports. Figure I.2 shows that Karen did not have a high level of any of the four emotional skills. Karen was considered an effective leader by many on the senior management team. She got things done, and her projects were at or under budget. If effective leadership depends on possessing emotional skills, then how come Karen was considered to INTRODUCTION xvii Figure I.2. Karen’s Emotional Intelligence Skills. High Average Low Total Identify Use Understand Manage be an effective leader? The moral of this story may be that we are paid to get things done. In a leadership situation, we get things done by directing the work of other people, no matter what it takes. So are emotions important at work? Do they matter? Does effective leadership truly require strong emotional skills? Karen and many others might well answer a decided no. The Value of the Skills of Emotions What, if any, advantage does emotional intelligence confer upon managers? Let’s return to Karen for a moment. After a reorganization at her company, Karen’s role changed, and she found herself in a matrix management situation in which she had to rely on others to obtain project resources. Telling people what to do no longer was an effective style for Karen. The trouble was that, although she managed-by-fear quite well, the fear tactics didn’t work anymore. She had trouble connecting with people in ways that did not involve generating the specter of lay-offs and failure. A person functioning in amorphous situations marked by rapid change needs to be able to form strong teams quickly and efﬁciently, interact effectively with people, communicate goals, and obtain buy-in from these self-directed, autonomous groups. In such an environment, the leader must lead by using a set of highly sophisticated skills that involve understanding how people think and feel. These are the skills of The Emotionally Intelligent Manager. xviii INTRODUCTION Just to be clear: emotional intelligence does not equal success; emotionally intelligent people are not necessarily great managers, and not all great managers are emotionally intelligent. Effective management is our theme here. In this book, we outline a prescription for effective management and leadership that is based on the integral role of the intelligent use of emotion and its impact on thinking, decision making, being motivated, and behaving. An emotionally intelligent manager is not a manager for all seasons, but we strongly believe that such a person will manage, lead, and live in a manner that results in positive outcomes for people. We surmise that truly excellent managers—those who are both effective and compassionate—possess a set of abilities that we deﬁne and develop in this book. A New Theory of Leadership We are not seeking to replace the ﬁne work of theorists and practitioners who have developed sophisticated models of management and leadership. As you’ll see, we do not even distinguish between the work of managers and the work of leaders, although we recognize that vast differences exist. A number of managerial and leadership function taxonomies have been proposed over the years. One way people have differentiated these two roles is to view the role of managers as consisting of planning and implementing activities, whereas the role of leaders is viewed more globally as inﬂuencing others in order to accomplish a goal.5 These functional analyses offer up an idea of what an effective manager or leader must do, but doing these things right does not necessarily mean you’ll succeed. Not only do you need to pull these off but you must also strive to avoid falling into certain traps. Work by the Center for Creative Leadership, for example, indicates that managers face several potential derailers, such as difﬁculty building a team, difﬁculty adapting, and problems with interpersonal relationships.6 We’ve distilled the various functions of managers and leaders, along with these potential leadership derailers, into six core areas (also see Exhibit I.1): INTRODUCTION xix Exhibit I.1. What Managers and Leaders Do. General Function Examples Building Effective Teams Difﬁculty building and leading a team How to lead Modeling the way Planning and Deciding Effectively Schedule projects Plan budgets and resources Logistics Failure to meet business objectives Motivating People Motivate staff Generate enthusiasm Motivate a team Enabling others to act Communicating a Vision Create a sense of importance and meaning Create an organizational identity Develop collective goals Inspiring a shared vision Promoting Change Promote ﬂexible thinking and decision thinking Facilitate creative thinking Difﬁculty changing or adapting Too narrow functional orientation Challenging the process Creating Effective Interpersonal Relationships Conﬂict resolution among subordinates Dealing with ﬁring someone Problems with interpersonal relationships Encouraging the heart xx 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. INTRODUCTION Building Effective Teams Planning and Deciding Effectively Motivating People Communicating a Vision Promoting Change Creating Effective Interpersonal Relationships Our approach helps inform our understanding of how managers and leaders accomplish these difﬁcult tasks. We’ll weave these functions into our discussion of the four emotional intelligence abilities to help you connect those general skills with the speciﬁc actions of managers and leaders. You might ﬁnd, for example, parallels between the four emotional skills and the nature of transformational or charismatic leadership. For instance, we are struck by the critical involvement of the emotions in the practices of exemplary leaders uncovered by the groundbreaking work by Kouzes and Posner.7 Nor do we seek to replace the work on managerial competencies, many of which are emotion-focused.8 Indeed, the competencies of effective managers and leaders described by management professor Richard Boyatzis and expanded on by Daniel Goleman are hypothesized to be based on emotional intelligence.9 We have something else—something unique—to offer you: our focus on emotions per se. We want you to understand—and to really feel—that thinking and emotions are inextricably linked and that there is little use for such notions as pure logic or cold rationality. We believe that the processes by which managers or leaders create a shared vision, motivate others, and encourage workers are likely based on the intelligent use of emotion and the integration of feelings with thinking. Our Plan Emotional intelligence has come to mean many things since the original, scientiﬁc work on emotional intelligence was begun by our group in the late 1980s. The overall concept of an emotional intelligence, as well as the general approach to emotional intelligence, was brought to life and to the attention of millions around the world in a 1995 book by science reporter and psychologist, Daniel Goleman.10 The enthusiastic response to this book resulted INTRODUCTION xxi in an explosion of interest in the concept, which overnight created a cottage industry of tests, methods, and, unfortunately, many wild claims as to what emotional intelligence is and what it predicts. We won’t be making such wild claims in this book. If you’re looking for a miracle cure for leadership woes, then you’ll have to look elsewhere. Our approach is based on two principles: (1) to stay true to the original, scientiﬁc work on emotional intelligence, which views emotional intelligence as a true intelligence, and (2) to stay true to our philosophy and to the values that have been instilled over decades of scientiﬁc training. We feel that we can stay true to these fundamental principles while offering you valuable ideas and insights. We’re very excited about the research that we and others around the world have conducted on emotional intelligence and want to share our insights with you. We hope that you will feel inquisitive enough to be critical about our approach and be excited enough to use it to help you become a more emotionally intelligent manager—of yourself and others. In this book, we attempt to show you—and to convince you— that emotions do matter—all the time. We believe that to ignore their role, to deny the wisdom of your own emotions and those of others, is to invite failure as a person, as a manager, and as a leader. We’ll describe each of the four emotional skills in some detail, providing you with evidence of the importance of the skill in the workplace. Then we’ll provide you with a concrete program of development, that is, we’ll teach you these emotional skills. Last, we’ll show you how you can apply these skills. If your work is of an individual nature, you can apply these emotional skills to your own work. Developing them might also increase your interest in taking on a leadership role at some future point. If you are currently in a leadership role and experiencing your share of successes, we hope that the approach we lay out in this book can help you acquire another set of skills that will assist you in future situations and roles. If you are already skilled in the domain of emotional intelligence, you might become motivated to use your skills in a leadership role. Whether you are an individual contributor, manager, or leader, you will ﬁnd ways that our intelligent approach to emotions can be applied to each and every one of your working days. The Emotionally Intelligent Manager PART 1 Learn About the World of Emotional Intelligence The term emotional intelligence seems like an oxymoron to many people. After all, emotions and intelligence are often at odds with one another. The chaotic nature of emotion means that it seems irrelevant, and perhaps even threatening, to the very way in which we think, decide, and work. In the next two chapters, we appeal to your intellect as we make a case for emotion. Rather than ask you to throw away reason and logic, we tap into your analytical powers to help you make sense of emotion. We ﬁrst outline a set of fundamental principles behind the concept of an emotional intelligence. Then we present you with an analytical tool—a process model we call an Emotional Blueprint—to help you view emotion as an organized and adaptive system. CHAPTER 1 Emotions and Reasoning at Work Rule of Reason or Rule of Emotion? Throughout The Emotionally Intelligent Manager, we argue that the integration of rational and emotional styles is the key to successful leadership. It is clear that good decisions require emotional and logical skills. But too much of one or the other, or the incorrect application of either, can present problems. (Determine your approach with the help of Exhibit 1.1.) We all know that emotions can derail us. We have seen this time and time again, both in the business world and, even more so, in the world of sports. Consider two cases, one from professional tennis and the other from professional golf. Tennis player Althea Gibson was neither physically nor ﬁnancially healthy during the last years of her life. She had fallen from the peak of her career to become a worker in the local recreation department in one of the less wealthy cities in the area. Perhaps this should not be much of a surprise, as she had lived, early on, a self-described “wild” life. She dropped out of school and, after failing to win one of her ﬁrst tournaments, almost decided to leave the sport.1 There is more to her story, as we shall see. During the British Open in July, 2001, golfer Ian Woosnam’s caddie, Miles, made a fatal error: he had placed an extra driver in the bag, costing Woosnam a two-stroke penalty. Woosnam threw the extra club on the ground in anger, and his frustration led him to bogey the next two holes. 3 4 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Exhibit 1.1. Assessment of Your Workplace Decision-Making Style. Indicate whether you agree or disagree with each of the statements below: It is important to control emotions at work. Decisions need to be made on logical and rational grounds. People should try put their personal feelings aside. Overly emotional people don’t ﬁt in well in the workplace. Expressing feelings should be limited. Emotional awareness is less important than logical thinking. At work, people should emphasize logic over feeling. If you agree with these statements, then you are endorsing the rule of reason in the workplace. You probably value rational, logical thinking, and although you can be emotional, you are able to control your emotions so that they don’t control you. If you disagree with these statements, then you are endorsing the rule of emotion in the workplace. Perhaps you ﬁnd emotions to be an integral part of your work-life and are not able to separate thinking and feeling. Does it matter? Endorsing the rule of reason or the rule of emotion suggests something important about your management style. One might think that it was Gibson’s lack of emotional control and Woosnam’s frustration that hurt their games. But there is quite a bit more to these stories. Althea Gibson won ﬁfty-six international tournaments and ﬁve Grand Slams. These achievements would be enough to label Gibson as a real talent, but what makes her so remarkable are the obstacles she faced and overcame in order to be allowed even to set foot on the courts. She was born in South Carolina into a sharecropper’s family but soon moved with her family to the Harlem section of New York City. Having been discovered and mentored for her tennis abilities, Gibson became a highly motivated and very disciplined tennis player. But Gibson wanted more. She wanted to compete on a larger playing ﬁeld, namely, on the grass courts of the all-white country clubs and associations that were closed to African Americans. After years of struggle, Gibson became (in 1950) the ﬁrst African American ever to play in the U.S. national tournament. Some years later, she would also become the ﬁrst African American woman to hold a membership card in the women’s professional golf group, the Ladies Professional Golf Association. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 5 Retiring at the peak of her career in order to make ends meet, she never made it big ﬁnancially. Gibson later became a coach and mentor to hundreds of kids over the course of many years, working in the East Orange New Jersey Recreation Department. She never sought the limelight, nor did she attempt to become a spokesperson for a cause. Instead, she faced each struggle with determination and provided young kids, who might have reminded her of herself as a child, with a hope and a dream and a belief in self. Gibson’s emotions did not sideline her, they helped her. There is also more to the story of the forgetful caddie. The expectation was that the caddie would be ﬁred on the spot. Asked about the caddie’s error after the game, Woosnam said, “It is the biggest mistake he will make in his life. He won’t do it again. He’s a good caddie. I am not going to sack him. He’s a good lad. He should have spotted it. Maybe he was a little bit nervous. It is the ultimate sin for a caddie.”2 Woosnam seems to have been able to take the feelings of frustration and use them in a constructive manner. He did not forget them nor did he try to deny them; instead, he integrated them into his play and into his thinking. His decision not to ﬁre Miles also shows sophisticated thinking and reasoning that included emotion. So what if Woosnam was a decent guy on the links? What counts is performance, and in golf it’s quite easy to measure performance. For this reason, it’s interesting to note that Woosnam recovered his game that day and ﬁnished an even par, narrowly missing a chance to win the Open. Woosnam might not be one of golf’s all-time greatest, but he won the Masters at Augusta in 1991 and was the oldest player to win the Wentworth Cup in 2001. Would Woosnam have been better off if he had immediately ﬁred the errant caddie? The ﬁnal postscript to this story is that the caddie was indeed ﬁred a few weeks after this incident when he slept late and missed a tee-time! Can You Be Too Emotional? We still hear of many situations in which people’s emotions get the better of them. Surely, there are times when we can be too emotional. Perhaps tennis star Andre Agassi’s story meets this deﬁnition. 6 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER It seems that Agassi had experienced quite a bad day on the court when he was heard to mutter an obscenity. The referee warned him, but “the incident threw Agassi into a funk. A moment later, he was slapping easy ground strokes into the net.” He lost the match.3 Agassi’s moods seemed to get the best of him. This would seem to be a clear-cut case for the need to have balanced and reasonable emotions and to control one’s emotions. There is such a case for tight emotional control, but it’s not a case we’re going to make. Nor is the notion of being “too emotional” one that is recognized by the emotionally intelligent manager. Agassi’s temper tantrum and resulting performance meltdown is not an argument for less emotion but for appropriate emotion. Anger is a powerful emotion, and it rises from a sense of injustice or unfairness, or being blocked from achieving an important goal. In Agassi’s case, his temperament—the way he is wired—and not the external situation created his frustration and his anger. And his inability to allow anger to motivate him to achieve his objective— winning the match—resulted in the negative outcome. What Role Should Emotions Play at Work? The sports world may have room for emotion, but is there any room for emotion in the boardroom? Many leaders would say there is not and, furthermore, there should not be. Business decisions need to be carefully considered, and many would probably agree that the more reasoning and rationality involved the better. Others feel that emotions play a role, sometimes an integral or equal role, in business. Which type of manager, as shown in Exhibit 1.2, are you most like, Manager A or Manager B? Many managers we have worked with have the characteristics of Manager A. Indeed, our Manager A clients often tell us that their job is to make optimal decisions by considering all the critical data in an orderly and logical fashion. After all, managers (and leaders) are charged with making good decisions. However, making good decisions and being an effective manager of self and others cannot—and does not—happen in the absence of emotion. Emotions are at work, and they work with and for us, as we’ll see in the next section. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 7 Exhibit 1.2. Comparison of Managing Styles. Manager A Manager B I try to keep emotions at arm’s length. Emotions are not important at work. Emotions should not inﬂuence me. Emotions need to be isolated at work. I try to be aware of my emotions. Emotions are important. My emotions inﬂuence me. Emotions should be part of work. Do Emotions in the Workplace Matter? Scientists have learned a lot about the role of emotions in the workplace by conducting thousands of research studies. Some of the results of these studies may surprise you. For instance, how managers feel is a useful indicator and predictor of organizational performance.4 In fact, research by Sigal Barsade, a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, demonstrates that how a management team feels has a direct impact on a company’s earnings. She discovered that a top management team that shares a common, emotional outlook that is positive will have 4 to 6 percent higher market-adjusted earnings per share than companies whose management team consists of members with diverse emotional outlooks.5 In a nine-week-long research study by University of Queensland’s Peter Jordan and Neil Ashkanasy, teams consisting of members low in emotional intelligence ended up at the same level as did teams of people with high EI.6 At ﬁrst blush, these results are not something that the high-EI manager might expect. What is striking is the difference in performance during the ﬁrst weeks of the study. The high-EI teams were able to get their act in gear a whole lot faster than the low-EI teams. Eventually, the low-EI teams did catch up to their more emotionally intelligent peers. The lesson learned from this study is that team emotional intelligence doesn’t much matter—as long as you don’t mind weeks of lost team productivity and hundreds of worker hours wasted. 8 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Emotions at a team level have a powerful impact in other ways as well. You might call it team spirit or morale, but all of us have experienced how the mood of a group can change. And how we feel does seem to inﬂuence our performance.7 Sometimes it happens slowly and subtly, but sometimes you can almost feel a chill come over the group; at other times, a sense of excitement permeates the air. The spread of emotions from person to person is a phenomenon known as emotional contagion. Emotional contagion has powerful effects on a group. Consider the experiment in which several groups of people were asked to simulate an end-of-the-year bonus pool discussion.8 Their role was to get as large a bonus for their employees as possible, while still attempting to make the best decisions for the organization as a whole. One of the people in the group, unbeknownst to the discussants, was a trained actor who behaved in a negative manner with some of the groups and in a positive manner with the other groups. Videos of the groups made it clear that the actor had an impact on the groups’ mood, depressing it in the negative condition and enhancing it in the positive condition. The research participants also reported changes in their mood, but they did not seem to realize why their mood had changed. Even more important, the positive groups showed a lot less conﬂict and much more cooperation than did their negative-mood counterparts. But emotional contagion, on its own, is neither intelligent nor unintelligent. The strategic application of emotional contagion is what makes it part of the repertoire of the emotionally intelligent manager. How leaders feel also affects how, and how well, they inﬂuence people, which, after all, is the core of leadership. A leader who is feeling sad is more likely to generate arguments that are persuasive and well thought out. Sad moods, in general, help people think in a more bottom-up, systematic manner than do happy moods. The same leader, feeling somewhat happy, will probably generate creative and original arguments in a bid to inﬂuence others. This leader will also come up with a whole lot more arguments when feeling happy than when feeling sad. And in general, emotions at work inﬂuence judgment, job satisfaction, helping behavior, creative problem solving, and decision making.9 EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 9 What makes all of this either smart or dumb is whether you realize the role that emotions play and what you do with that knowledge. Do you try to get your team to generate creative messages when they are down in the dumps? Or do you use this time instead to critically evaluate and edit a prospectus? The emotionally intelligent manager matches the mood to the moment. We don’t expect most managers to know how to do this. You might have taken courses in accounting and marketing, but we’ll bet that you never took a course on emotion management strategies, emotional identiﬁcation skills, or emotion generation. So consider this book your course on emotions at work—why they matter, how they operate, and how to leverage the power of your emotions to be a better manager and leader. Your emotional education starts with the six basic principles of emotional intelligence, which we discuss next. Six Principles of Emotional Intelligence Our approach to emotional intelligence begins with these six principles: 1. Emotion is information. 2. We can try to ignore emotion, but it doesn’t work. 3. We can try to hide emotions, but we are not as good at it as we think. 4. Decisions must incorporate emotion to be effective. 5. Emotions follow logical patterns. 6. Emotional universals exist, but so do speciﬁcs. PRINCIPLE 1: EMOTION IS INFORMATION Emotions Are Data Emotions contain data about you and your world. Emotions are not random, chaotic events that interfere with thinking. An emotion occurs due to some factor that is important to you, and it helps motivate you and guide you to success. At the most basic level, emotions can be viewed as: 10 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER • Occurring due to some sort of change in the world around you • Starting automatically • Quickly generating physiological changes • Changing what you were paying attention to and how you were thinking • Preparing you for action • Creating personal feelings • Quickly dissipating • Helping you cope, survive, and thrive in your world Figure 1.1 shows graphically the function of an emotion. Emotions are a signal, and if you pay attention to what an emotion is signaling, chances are the emotion is going to help you out of a tough situation, prevent something bad from happening, or help bring about a positive outcome.10 Emotions Are Mainly Data About People Principle 1 has an important subprinciple: emotions are primarily signals about people, social situations, and interactions. Emotions tell you a lot about you—how you feel, what’s happening to you, what’s going on around you. But emotions likely evolved in order to ensure our survival by helping us work together. Psychologist Paul Figure 1.1. Function of an Emotion. Event Starts quickly Automatically attend to event Physiology changes Time (seconds) Distinctive experience Distinctive thoughts Ready for action Brief duration EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 11 Ekman believes that this is the key function of our feelings: “Typically, the events that call forth emotion are interpersonal actions.”11 When we are angry, we send a signal to other people to leave us alone or to give back what they took from us—“or else.” Our smile of happiness shows that we are open and accepting and, most important, approachable. The interpersonal, or social, nature of emotion is what makes these data sources of such vital importance in the lives of all managers and leaders. Emotions Are Not Always Data-Driven If emotions are this wonderful source of data that we need to embrace, then what about those stories you have heard about how emotions derail people, how destructive they can be, and about the need to rein in our emotions? It’s a great question. As Figure 1.1 illustrates, emotions are real-time feedback signals that come on quickly and dissipate just as rapidly. But what gives emotions a bad name and gets us into trouble, is something related to emotions: moods. Scientists often distinguish between emotions and moods. Emotions have a deﬁnable cause. Moods are feelings that last a long time, often occur for unknown reasons, and can be part of our body chemistry. Sometimes the “aftershocks” of emotions are felt as lingering moods. It’s likely that calls to carefully regulate and control emotions, as well as the view that emotions are often irrelevant and give rise to undue stress, are really calls to examine our moods.12 The emotionally intelligent manager must be able to differentiate between the experience of an emotion and the inﬂuence of being in a certain mood. This requires great skill, knowledge, and practice, and it’s something that we will help you develop. Emotions Help Us Survive Emotions are critical to our survival as individuals and as a species. In fact, emotions are not unique to humans. The survival and development of a species depends on a number of behaviors, including attending to emergencies, exploring the environment, avoiding danger, maintaining bonds with other members of the group, protecting oneself, reproducing, ﬁghting against attack, and 12 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER giving and receiving care.13 Emotions were hard-wired millions of years ago through evolution to protect us from threats to survival, as suggested by Exhibit 1.3. Yet is it possible that, after millions of years of evolution and change, emotions have indeed become useless vestiges of an earlier and more dangerous existence? In current times, with the advances in technology and a general growth of civilization, do these “primitive” emotions interfere with survival and success in the modern world? This is a very logical and sensible argument. But it is very wrong. The world that we live in is exceedingly complex, and accessing our emotions is still important to behaving adaptively and surviving. Let’s take fear, for example. Fear is a powerful emotion that certainly has an important role to play in the lives of even the most “civilized” of nations and peoples. When we worry about something, we are potentially motivated to act in order to alleviate the fear. Of course, fear can also paralyze us and prevent us from achieving important goals: fear of rejection leads us to avoid relationships with people; fear of failure causes us to delay our plans. But emotionally intelligent managers integrate their emotions and their thinking in ways that are adaptive and productive. The intelligent use of fear involves using it to energize us to address things that are important: feeling nervous about a major presentation can motivate us to work harder; worry about an upcoming business meet- Exhibit 1.3. The Survival Value of Emotion. This emotion: Motivates this behavior: Fear Anger Sadness Disgust Interest Surprise Acceptance Joy Run, there’s danger! Fight! Help me, I’m hurt. Don’t eat that, it’s poison. Let’s look around and explore. Watch out! Pay attention! Stay with the group for safety. Let’s cooperate; let’s reproduce. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 13 ing can provide the energy we need to go back and review our notes, catch some glaring inconsistencies and problems, and achieve a more successful outcome; anxiety can facilitate performance just as easily as it can debilitate it.14 Emotions motivate our behavior in ways that are adaptive and helpful to us. Emotions are not extraneous. They don’t just add interest to our lives; they are critical to our very survival. Almost every theory of emotions suggests that emotions convey important information about the environment that helps us thrive and survive. Different emotions have evolved to help us meet these and other needs. Emotions are also linked to action. Consider a situation in which you’re angry with certain team members for failing to show up at the meeting you called. That’s only natural. These no-shows are an obstacle in your path. Rather than physically attacking them, however, you can contact them, express your displeasure constructively, and gain their assistance. Positive emotions like happiness and joy are also a part of our work life—alas, a small part for many people. For example, when you make that huge sale, and there are high-ﬁves all around the trading ﬂoor, the team experiences a feeling of joy, motivating them to repeat that experience all over again. Quite simply, emotions convey information and meaning and motivate action. In Exhibit 1.4, we have revised Exhibit 1.3 to suggest ways in which emotions motivate behaviors that, although they may not have survival value, can be relevant in everyday workplace situations. PRINCIPLE 2: WE CAN TRY TO IGNORE EMOTION, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK Most of us would admit that emotions inﬂuence performance in some areas of our life and that this is normal and even desirable. We see the impact of emotion in sports, as we attempt to psych out our opponent or energize our team. “Attitude”—mood and emotion— is critical in all sports. But what about a job in which logic is essential? Surely, emotions cannot, and should not, play any sort of role in highly rational and analytical decisions. In a classic study, psychologist Alice Isen discovered that even presumed bastions of rationality—physicians— 14 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Exhibit 1.4. The Way Emotions Motivate Us Now. This emotion: Motivates this behavior: Fear Anger Sadness Disgust Interest Surprise Act now to avoid negative consequences. Fight against wrong and injustice. Ask others for their help and support. Show that you cannot accept something. Excite others to explore and learn. Turn people’s attention to something unexpected and important. I like you; you’re one of us. Let’s reproduce (that event). Acceptance Joy alter their thinking and decision making, depending on their mood. In an experiment with radiologists, she found that their diagnoses were both faster and more accurate after they were given a small gift (presumably mildly elevating their moods).15 We told you earlier how emotional contagion inﬂuences the effectiveness of groups. It is remarkable that although emotions have a major impact on judgment, we are almost completely unaware of their effects. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, or whether you are aware of it or not, emotions and thinking are intertwined. You can try to ﬁght against Principle 2, but it won’t work. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister found that when people try to suppress the expression of emotions, they end up remembering less information.16 It seems that emotional suppression takes energy and attention that otherwise could be expended in listening to and processing information. This is not to suggest that we must continuously be awash in emotion. Instead, we can process the underlying information, as well as the emotional component, of the situation, through strategies that do not involve suppressing the expression of our feelings. One such strategy is emotional reappraisal, wherein we look at the issues but attempt to reframe them in a more constructive and adaptive way. We view the situation as a challenge to be addressed, or we try to gain some sort of lesson from the situation. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 15 Don’t get us wrong. Emotionally intelligent managers don’t merely ﬁx a smile on their face every morning and try to put a positive spin on everything the rest of the day. In fact, emotionally intelligent individuals try to avoid Pollyanna-like positive reactions to all things all the time. That is not an effective way to deal with problems—or to avoid dealing with them. An emotionally intelligent manager experiences the emotions and then uses the power of emotion as a springboard to a successful, productive outcome. PRINCIPLE 3: WE CAN TRY TO HIDE EMOTIONS, BUT WE ARE NOT AS GOOD AT IT AS WE THINK Managers and leaders often don’t share certain types of information with their people, or they try to cover up how they feel in order to protect themselves or others. We say that everything is ﬁne when it is not; we claim that we’re not worried when we are. Organizations are notorious for their attempts at controlling emotions, especially the display and the expression of emotion. In many service-oriented jobs, employees are explicitly taught to suppress their feelings and to put on a happy face. This is the concept of “emotional labor,” an idea that sociologist Arlie Hochschild ﬁrst brought to wide attention.17 There are a few ways that people try to display the emotions that their employer demands. One is through surface acting, when you feel one way but don’t show the true, underlying feeling. In deep acting, you actually try to change your current feeling to match the desired feeling. As you might expect, surface acting, as well as emotional labor, have been linked to performance burnout and job turnover, among other issues.18 Emotional suppression in organizations takes many other forms. In a process known as normalizing emotion,19 we do not show strong emotions or emotions that the organization or group deems inappropriate. What may surprise you are the sorts of emotions that people are taught not to show at work. Think about your own observations of organizational life. What emotions do you see people show, and what emotions are rarely displayed? If you said that anger is an emotion that gets covered up and suppressed at work, that may be true for your workplace, but it certainly is not the case in general. In one workplace study, anger was the most likely emotion to be expressed to the person who provoked it.20 In fact, this study found that 53 percent of people expressed 16 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER their feelings of anger. The emotion that was least frequently expressed at work was the feeling of joy; only 19 percent of people said they expressed this emotion while at work. At ﬁrst blush, these results seem counterintuitive. Anger is a powerful, negative emotion that people cover up and try to suppress, whereas joy is a positive emotion that seems more appropriate to display. But the emotional norms of organizations dictate that the expression of joy is not professional. After all, this is work, and we’re not supposed to be having that much fun at work. Anger, on the other hand, is the expression of power and authority, of showing others who’s the boss. We’re not saying that this is the way we should live our work-lives. We believe that the expression of joy is an important part of the emotionally intelligent manager’s tool kit, and we need to celebrate our successes more often and encourage each other to reproduce that success. These attempts at disguising our emotions, although they are consciously made, may not work terribly well. Ekman’s research on facial expressions and lying indicates that it is possible to spot a liar by observing pauses in a person’s speech, speech errors, and ﬂeeting emotional displays. Our desire to protect emotions or to engage in purely rational pursuits in the workplace can end up in decision-making failures and create an atmosphere of mistrust.21 You can try to be the management tough-guy loner type—a John Wayne of organizational effectiveness—and it will work some of the time. But not all of the time. Your feelings and emotions will be read by some of the people most of the time and all of the people some of the time. PRINCIPLE 4: DECISIONS MUST INCORPORATE EMOTION TO BE EFFECTIVE Our feelings have an impact on us and on others, whether we want them to or not. Quite simply, no decisions are made without emotion. As we noted earlier, according to neuroscientist Damasio, rational thinking cannot occur in the absence of emotion.22 The fundamental error often made by Western philosophers and researchers is to separate mind from body. In doing so, we have created a split-personality view of ourselves as rational creatures (with minds, or thoughts) who must fend off irrational im- EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 17 pulses (originating in our bodies, or emotions). Such a view seems to be shared by many people, even today. We distrust emotion as unreliable, irrational, and unwanted impulses that bring us back down to a lower evolutionary level. Such a view is embedded in a “pop” psychology approach to emotional intelligence; consider this quote from a magazine article trumpeting, “What’s Your EQ?”: [Text not available in this electronic edition.] Perhaps this passage illustrates the most critical point of divergence between many approaches to the topic of emotional intelligence and ours. In our approach, we recognize that emotions make us truly human and undergird rationality, and, as such, emotions must be welcomed, embraced, understood, and put to good use. Although we’ll teach you the importance of strategies such as regulating and managing moods and emotions, we emphasize the fuller experience of emotion, not blocking it out or rationalizing your experience. It means that there are times as a manager, a team member, an individual contributor, when one might feel hurt, badly hurt. But if it doesn’t hurt badly at times, you’re probably not making emotionally intelligent—and effective—decisions. Different Moods Inﬂuence Our Thinking in Different Ways Psychologists Gordon Bower and Alice Isen, among others, have studied the interaction of mood and thinking for many years.24 They have found that emotions inﬂuence our thinking in different ways. Positive emotions tend to open us up to our environment for exploration and discovery. The broaden and build theory of Barbara Frederickson suggests that positive emotions do more than make us feel good.25 Positive emotions: 18 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER • Expand our thinking • Help generate new ideas • Encourage us to consider possibilities Generally, pleasant or positive emotions motivate us to explore the environment, broaden our thinking, and enlarge our repertoire of behaviors. Positive emotion dares us to be different. It helps us see new connections and generate new and novel solutions to problems. Positive emotions have other effects on us. For example, happiness motivates us to play or to interact with others; smiling and laughing signal others that we are friendly and approachable. In this way, positive emotions promote social bonds and stronger social networks. Positive emotions also inoculate us against negative events and emotions. If people are asked to watch a ﬁlm that induces strong negative emotions and are simply asked to smile after watching the movie, they tend to recover more quickly from the physiological impact of the stressful event. In one study, Lee Anne Harker and Dacher Keltner studied the yearbook photos of more than one hundred women college graduates. They rated the faces on how happy they were and then tracked these individuals over thirty years. The women who expressed positive emotion in their photos were more likely to have stronger social bonds and more positive social relationships than the women who were not smiling.26 Negative thinking has received bad press of late. Yet negative emotions are also important, as they can enhance thinking in very useful and practical ways. Some of the effects of negative mood or emotion on thinking include:27 • Providing a clearer focus • Allowing details to be examined more efﬁciently • Motivating a more efﬁcient search for errors Negative emotions call for us to change what we are doing or thinking. They narrow our ﬁeld of attention and perception, and they motivate us to act in very speciﬁc ways. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 19 Compared to positive emotions, negative emotions tend to be experienced more strongly, and there may be an evolutionary explanation for this phenomenon. There are greater survival costs for an injury or an attack than there are potential rewards for ﬁnding something interesting out in the wild. Therefore, negative emotions that signal the chance of danger must be more carefully attended to, and if they are experienced more strongly than positive emotions, then we are less likely to end up on some predator’s dinner table. We all love positive emotions and recognize their positive effects on health and well-being, but there should be a fond place in our hearts for the so-called negative emotions such as fear, anger, and disgust. There’s a time for peace—happy emotions—and there’s a time to ﬁght—to feel negative emotions. Management is not about avoiding conﬂict and making everyone happy all the time. Management is more about effectiveness, and effectiveness requires a range of emotions. PRINCIPLE 5: EMOTIONS FOLLOW LOGICAL PATTERNS Emotions come about for many reasons, but each emotion is part of a sequence from low to high intensity. If the event or thought that initiated a feeling continues or intensiﬁes, then it is likely that the feeling also gets stronger. Emotions are not randomly occurring events. Each emotion has its own moves, sort of like in a game of chess. You just have to know which piece you have and the rules that govern that piece. Robert Plutchik, a well-known emotions researcher, proposed a model of emotions that explicitly presents them along an intensity continuum, so that emotions intensify as they go from lower to higher on the diagram.28 The eight primary emotions are arranged in a circle, with opposite emotions on opposite sides of the circle. His model also indicates how emotions can combine with one another to form more complex emotions. The terms in the open spaces are called primary dyads or a mix of two of the primary emotions. A graphic model of Plutchik’s work is shown in Figure 1.2. This map of emotions provides us with just one of many pieces that we need to understand and manage our emotions better. 20 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Figure 1.2. An Emotional Map. opt s imi love serenity m interest acceptance joy anticipation agg ress trust ecstasy iven vigilance annoyance adoration rage anger terror loathing te con sion mis sub ess fear apprehension amazement t mp awe grief disgust surprise sadness e ors l ova pensiveness ppr rem distraction disa boredom Note: The ﬁgure is reprinted by permission of American Scientist, magazine of Sigma Xi, The Scientiﬁc Research Society. Consider this example of the importance of understanding the rules of the emotion game. Jenna is in sales, and Joe is a customer. It came as a real surprise to Jenna that Joe was angry. His anger seemed to come out of nowhere. In reality, there were many warning signs of Joe’s impending anger. It didn’t just materialize; it was the next logical step in the progression of Joe’s emotions. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 21 Here’s what happened. Joe started with a mild feeling of annoyance when Jenna told him that the new system would be delayed a week or so. But Joe was not angry. “These things happen,” he reasoned at the time. When a week went by and there was no word from Jenna, Joe called her. She casually mentioned that they couldn’t do the install for another week because they were so busy. Now Joe’s minor annoyance transitioned into a feeling of frustration. But when still another week went by and Joe called Jenna’s ofﬁce, only to ﬁnd out she was on vacation, then Joe was pretty mad. Your emotional knowledge can serve as a crystal ball of sorts. When applied with care, it can reduce surprises and predict the future. PRINCIPLE 6: EMOTIONAL UNIVERSALS EXIST, BUT SO DO SPECIFICS Emotional intelligence “works,” in part, because there are universal rules of emotions and their expression. Much is made of cultural differences in social behavior, and with good reason. Customs and manners do vary markedly from country to country, as well as within regions of larger or diverse nations. But the case of emotions is a special one. We know that cultural universals exist in emotions. A happy face is seen as a happy face by people all over the globe. A face of surprise is interpreted the same way by a Wall Street investment banker and a New Guinea tribesman. Even nonhumans display and recognize emotional expressions in fellow creatures. Those of you with dogs know this. Can’t you tell when your dog is happy or sad or angry? Perhaps we all recognize a smiling face for what it is because there are universals in the underlying causes of different emotions. Thus we are happy when we achieve or gain something, and we are sad when we lose something. At its core, an emotion signals something important and therefore communicates a universal signal to all peoples. But life is more complex than the universal picture we are painting, and there are, indeed, emotional speciﬁcs. Some of these speciﬁcs have to do with display rules, secondary emotions, and gender. 22 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Emotional Display Rules Even though all of us may be able to identify happiness in people’s expressions clearly, and even though we may all experience happiness for similar, underlying reasons, it doesn’t mean that we all show our happiness the same way. This brings up the concept of emotional display rules. Our society and culture teach us when it’s okay to show how we feel and when it’s not. We learn these rules early in life, such as when little boys are told that “big boys don’t cry,” or when, feeling absolutely miserable, we tell our ofﬁcemate that we’re doing “ﬁne” in response to his daily greeting, “Hey, how ‘ya doing?” Emotional display rules are a form of hidden knowledge. This is knowledge that we are aware of, but we’re not quite sure where we acquired it. Display rules vary from organization to organization. The creative culture of a New York advertising agency may encourage the display of joy, surprise, and interest, whereas a buttoned-down, Park Avenue law ﬁrm prides itself on its quiet restraint. Cultures also have their own sets of emotional display rules.29 When in France, we were initially surprised when our hosts kissed us goodbye—on both cheeks! That would not have gone over very well in the United States, but in France, it’s perfectly acceptable to express your feelings of happiness in this way. In the United States, we might simply smile and say a word of thanks. In Japan, a colleague may feel angry with you, but all you see on his face is a smile. Secondary Emotions Closely linked to the notion of emotional display rules is the concept known as secondary emotions, or as they are called in some cases, self-conscious emotions. Unlike the basic emotions of anger, fear, and joy, these secondary emotions have a strong social or cultural component to them. Consider the feeling of embarrassment. We feel embarrassed when we commit some sort of faux pas, and we are “caught” by someone else. This general rule of embarrassment probably applies to all people and cultures, but what sets the emotion called embarrassment apart from its more basic colleagues is that the actions that bring on the feeling are tied to culture. EMOTIONS AND REASONING AT WORK 23 If you walk into a meeting of the board in mud-stained clothes, you might feel a bit embarrassed. But walk into your local garden center dressed that way to pick up a bundle of fertilizer, soil, and annuals, and you might not feel embarrassed at all. The context is the key. Different cultures have different social norms for behavior, and what is accepted in one environment may give rise to embarrassment in another. During our ﬁrst stays in Japan, visiting our colleagues at EQ-Japan in Tokyo, for instance, both of us were at ﬁrst a bit surprised when our genteel and polite hosts started loudly slurping their noodles at lunch. If one of us did that in a midtown Manhattan restaurant in front of a client, we’d be plenty embarrassed. In Tokyo, the norms are different, and so noodle slurping is not embarrassing to our Japanese colleagues. In contrast, we unknowingly embarrassed our Japanese hosts when we hugged them good-bye. And when we realized later what we had done, we too felt ashamed and embarrassed. Gender and Emotions Gender has important effects on emotions and emotional intelligence. Our own work, for example, suggests that women may have a slight advantage in the hard skills of emotional intelligence.30 Even though women, as a group, may be more emotionally intelligent than men, women are devalued relative to men when they engage in certain leadership behaviors, even though they might be effective. For instance, it’s acceptable for us, as males, to be assertive and in-your-face at work. Our female counterparts, however, are perceived a lot differently when they act in an assertive manner. A female executive expressing happiness may be seen as being “typically female” and soft, whereas a guy can get away with his high-ﬁve in the hallway. Gender role norms in the workplace mean that what is acceptable for a male executive is not always acceptable for a female executive.31 ◆ ◆ ◆ In the remainder of this book, we explore emotional intelligence in depth and provide both an explanation of its importance and techniques for acquiring or improving one’s work and management style. CHAPTER 2 An Emotional Blueprint If there is one theme that captures the primary message of this book, it’s this: emotions are important. They are relevant to our everyday lives. They are not merely vestiges of our evolutionary past, like our wisdom teeth or appendix. Nonetheless, for all the importance of emotions, they receive so little attention in our formal education that we are woefully inadequate when it comes to understanding and dealing with them. A Blueprint for Thinking and Feeling We believe that it is difﬁcult, yet possible, to become an emotionally intelligent manager. At ﬁrst, learning to identify and use the data in feelings might be somewhat awkward and mechanical. It might seem like following a difﬁcult schematic diagram or a set of instructions for assembling a complex machine. Whereas some of us learn the underlying principles over time and can dispense with detailed assembly instructions, others of us will always need the schematic or explicit steps. The good news we offer all managers is that we have developed a schematic diagram for emotions—a set of detailed, how-to instructions. We call this an Emotional Blueprint (see Figure 2.1). The Emotional Blueprint is based on a chapter by John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey in a 1997 book called Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence. The original work on emotional intelligence in the scientiﬁc literature was published in 1990 by Salovey and Mayer as a journal article in Imagination, Cognition, and Personality. Their research was motivated by the gap between the 24 AN EMOTIONAL BLUEPRINT 25 Figure 2.1. Emotional Blueprint. Situation Describe the situation—the time, place, and people involved. Identify List the feelings of each person. Use Describe the focus of attention. Understand Manage Ask yourself why they feel this way. Consider what’s next. Ask yourself these questions: Should you ignore or accept feelings? What do the emotions tell you? What are some good options? importance of emotions and the level at which the average person understands them.1 It was also inﬂuenced by the work of people such as Howard Gardner, with his theory of multiple intelligences, as well as by Robert Sternberg’s discussions of practical and successful intelligences.2 More to the point, the key idea behind emotional intelligence is that our emotions, in effect, make us smarter. Rather than get in the way of rational thought, they help to shape it. Since that time, these ideas have been further explored and developed into a sophisticated, yet beguilingly simple, set of skills that we term the ability model of emotional intelligence. This model provides a framework to help us learn about emotions and manage them effectively. In this model, emotional intelligence is viewed as an actual intelligence consisting of four related abilities, which you’ll recognize as the abilities we described in the Introduction (see Figure I.1): 1. Read People—Identify Emotions: This refers to the ability to identify accurately how you, and those around you, are feeling and your ability to express these feelings. More than awareness, this ability stresses accuracy of awareness. 26 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER 2. Get in the Mood—Use Emotion: This special ability helps you determine how emotions help you and how they work in harmony with thinking. Your ability to use emotions changes your perspective, allowing you to see the world in different ways and to feel what others feel. 3. Predict the Emotional Future—Understand Emotions: Emotions have their own language, and they have their own logical moves. The ability to understand emotion means that you can determine why you feel the way you do and what will happen next. 4. Do It with Feeling—Manage Emotions: Emotions convey important information, so it is valuable to be open to our emotions and to use this information to make informed decisions. Emotional intelligence, then, consists of these four abilities: to identify how people feel, to use emotions to help you think, to understand the causes of emotions, and to include and manage emotions in your decision making to make optimal choices in life. Each of these four abilities is separate from the other abilities and can be deﬁned, studied, measured, developed, and used independently. But the four abilities also work together. The fourpart model provides a blueprint for leading more effective lives. The model applies to almost any realm of our life, as we tap into these emotional skills to understand ourselves and other people better.3 Emotional Blueprint in Action Keeping a team together and motivated is one of the most difﬁcult tasks for managers. This task is made even more complex and challenging when the team experiences change. The Emotional Blueprint can help us understand better how to effectively manage a team through such turbulent times. Consider, for example, the situation that one of our managerial clients, Don, experienced when his team went through a signiﬁcant change. The Manager Who Did Not Manage Emotions Don was a great manager. He was extremely effective in many ways, as reﬂected by his own job satisfaction, the satisfaction of the people reporting to him, and his ability to complete projects on a sched- AN EMOTIONAL BLUEPRINT 27 ule that met his clients’ needs. That is why Don was initially quite surprised when his operations group at a high-powered Wall Street ﬁrm suddenly experienced an unanticipated change: a noticeable drop in morale and productivity. Recounting the history of his group, Don related that some problems had arisen during and after a partial staff relocation eight months earlier. In his inimitable, hands-on manner, Don had addressed each of these problems, resolved the issue, and moved on. He continued his detailed analysis of the group, discussing other problems they had experienced, the nature of their projects, and a host of other, possible causes for the precipitous productivity drop. The list of potential causes was long, but Don dismissed each one, and it did seem that none of these could have had such a major negative impact on this previously high-functioning team. Don’s analytical skills were as strong as his managerial and technical skills, and he was quite open to possible personal failings. His systematic analysis was detailed, rational, and logical—and wrong. While readily addressing the concrete concerns, Don failed to conduct an emotional analysis of the situation. The problems that arose after the move—problems with new parking spaces, different tax forms, faulty air conditioning—were actually symptoms of something else. The “something else” in this case turned out to be the feelings of the department members who now had a shorter commute but no longer felt part of the community. The something else was also the feeling of loss experienced by the people who stayed behind in the original Wall Street ofﬁces. It was only with the accurate identiﬁcation of the root cause of the morale and productivity problem that corrective action could be taken and a positive result achieved. It was only when Don addressed the real issues that he was able to turn the situation around by meeting the deeper, unspoken needs of his staff. Some people believe that it’s not in a manager’s job description to have to deal with people’s feelings (unless, of course, you’re a psychologist!). We argue that this is exactly what a manager’s job description should include: identifying how people feel, using their feelings to direct their thinking, understanding the reasons for these feelings, and managing to stay open to the data in feelings and use the information to make optimal decisions. 28 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Don’s Emotional Blueprint Don was a smart guy. Because our intelligent approach to emotions does not place analytical abilities, or IQ, in opposition to emotional intelligence, we see Don’s “smarts” as a beneﬁt, not as a handicap in his acquisition and use of the skills of emotional intelligence. In fact, Don turned out to be a quick study in the realm of emotions. With a bit of guidance and information, he was readily able to use our Emotional Blueprint. This is what the Blueprint consists of (see Exhibit 2.1). If you were in Don’s shoes, you might ﬁrst tune in to the feelings of the group as well as your own. Tuning in is only part of this step, because even though you’re tuned in, you may be tuned to the wrong channel! In other words, it takes more than paying attention. You have to pay attention to the right things and draw the correct conclusions. What would you learn? You might be able to tell from gestures, tone of voice, forced smiles, and the like that people are feeling down. Morale seems to be sinking like a stone. Your next step is to use these feelings to help guide your thinking. For Don, it means that he feels what his team feels and so sees Exhibit 2.1. An Emotional Blueprint. Step Goal Identify Emotions Get complete and accurate data. Use Emotions Have feelings help guide your thinking. Understand Evaluate possible Emotions emotional scenarios. Manage Emotions Determine underlying, root cause and take action to solve the problem. Action Listen, ask questions, and paraphrase to ensure you understand how your team feels. Determine how these feelings inﬂuence your thinking and that of the team. Examine the causes of these feelings and what may happen next. Include the rational, logical information available with the emotional data you just gathered to make an optimal decision. AN EMOTIONAL BLUEPRINT 29 the world and feels the world through their eyes. He senses that his people are giving up and perhaps losing hope. They are focused on problems, on what is wrong with the organization. It’s not a pleasant feeling, nor is it encouraging, but it is what it is: an accurate appraisal of a worsening situation. Don has to engage in some heavy analytical lifting now. He must analyze why his group is losing all hope. What is the source of their feelings? What happened? Perhaps even more important, Don has to predict the future and ﬁgure out how people will feel in the future. Because he is analytical by nature, Don can apply his sophisticated what-if reasoning skills (we talk more about “whatifs” in Chapter Five) to the situation and determine that if the situation continues, people may give up, be motivated to leave the organization, or fall prey to despair or anger. The situation isn’t going to get better if Don continues his present course. That seems clear. The fourth emotionally intelligent step Don takes may be the most difﬁcult one of all. When we are feeling lousy, we try to push those feelings and the accompanying thoughts away. We don’t like feeling bad, so we do almost anything not to feel bad. Unfortunately for Don, he must stay open to these negative, difﬁcult feelings. To do otherwise means he is not doing his job, or not doing his job well, in any case. These feelings are the crux of the matter; they hold the key to the team problem that Don is facing. He guards against suppressing his and his group’s frustration and sadness, and he integrates this information into his decision making and behavior. This is where Don has a moment of insight and realizes that he must directly address how his people feel about the move, not just the concrete issues that are disguising the real problem of loss. Being an emotionally intelligent manager means that there will be times, perhaps plenty of times, when you must open yourself up to strong feelings, both positive and negative. Before allowing this to happen though, it is essential that you develop the skills that allow you to fully engage these strong feelings and not to get overwhelmed by them. This book can help you develop this skill. Don’s action plan, based on his Emotional Blueprint, is shown in Exhibit 2.2. As you can see, Don has to alter his strategy and behavior, using his reanalysis of the situation and his correct identiﬁcation of the root cause of the team’s performance problems. 30 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Exhibit 2.2. Don’s Emotional Blueprint Action Plan. Step What Don Discovers Identify Emotions Use Emotions The team feels isolated, alone, and sad. They are focused on negatives and fault-ﬁnding. They feel abandoned. As the situation continues, they may feel upset and angry. It may have been a mistake not to move with the group, but I need to stay open and try to solve the real issue. Understand Emotions Manage Emotions This is what emotionally intelligent managers do. Do they walk through every decision step-by-step in this fashion? Probably not. But it is the way they think and feel and act. The exciting thing about this Emotional Blueprint is that we can provide you with the drafting tools you need to create your own blueprint for each important situation you face. We can teach you to see and feel the world in a different manner. It is not easy to do, but even if you simply start by asking these questions, you’ll come out ahead. (When you are ready, Appendix 2 provides detailed Emotional Blueprint questions.) ◆ ◆ ◆ The world of emotion is complex and confusing, but the Emotional Blueprint can help you navigate your way through the turbulence. To get the most out of our intelligent approach to emotions, and the Emotional Blueprint, we’ll share critical information about each of the four emotional skills, show you how to develop each of the skills, and then show you how to apply the skills to your daily work-life. In the next several chapters, we take a look at each of the four abilities in greater detail. PART 2 Understand Your Emotional Skills The Emotional Blueprint offers an approach to emotion that is intelligent. It does not threaten the importance of logic or reason. This blueprint describes four different, but related, emotional abilities. The best way to help you really understand the blueprint is to take it apart and ﬁgure out how it works. That’s what we do in Part Two. We describe each of the four emotional abilities in greater detail, give you examples of people high and low in each ability, and demonstrate to you why the ability is important. To show you that we are in earnest about emotional intelligence being similar to the traditional notion of intelligence, we close this section by sharing with you how we can objectively measure a person’s four emotional skills. CHAPTER 3 Read People Identifying Emotions What does it mean to be able to identify emotions accurately—to take the ﬁrst step described in our model? Managers with these skills are described by the statements in Column A in Exhibit 3.1. Managers who struggle with this skill are often described by statements such as those listed in Column B. Let’s take a look at two people, each of whom is better described by one of these lists of attributes than the other. What Does It Mean to Identify Emotions? Managers have to work with people. As simple and obvious as this sounds, it is not always easy to do well. Failures of interpersonal Exhibit 3.1. Identifying Emotions. Column A: Skillful Column B: Not Skillful Knows what people feel Will talk about feelings Can show how they feel Expresses feelings when upset Misreads people’s emotions Doesn’t talk about feelings Never shows feelings Does not know how to express feelings Maintains neutral expression Fails to identify how others feel Misunderstands own feelings Smiles when happy or pleased Reads people accurately Good at recognizing own feelings 33 34 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER relationships at work can occur for many different reasons. In Bill’s case, the reason seems to be his struggle in ﬁguring out how people feel. Bill Just Doesn’t Seem to Get It Bill, age forty-ﬁve, was an outgoing and energetic person. He was considering a career change to consulting, as he had extensive experience in his industry and was well educated. However, Bill’s colleagues reported that Bill wasn’t always effective with them or with clients in general. In the words of one colleague, “Bill isn’t always there. He seems a bit ‘off’ at times. He just doesn’t seem to get it.” Bill didn’t pick up on others’ nonverbal signals. During a conversation, when it was clear to most people that the discussion wasn’t going anywhere, Bill would obliviously continue to expound on his points and end up completely losing the audience. He also didn’t seem able to appreciate his own emotional state of mind. For instance, Bill had a mild temper problem. After an especially difﬁcult week in the ofﬁce, it appeared that Bill was quite angry. He would ﬂing his briefcase around, speak grufﬂy to his secretary, and generally stomp around the ofﬁce. Asked how he was feeling, he replied, “Fine, I’m ﬁne.” One colleague ventured to say to Bill, “It seems like you’re really angry with the way that deal is going,” only to have Bill almost yell at him, “I am not angry! Understand? I am not angry!” And he really meant it! He was oblivious to his own emotions and to those of others. Bill’s ability to identify emotions was modest, at best. Bob Gets It Bill lacked basic emotional awareness, but many managers who are aware of emotions can’t accurately identify them. Having emotional awareness and accurate emotional data is the basis for most effective relationships, as the case of Bob illustrates. Bob was a hail-fellow-well-met sort of guy. A second-generation Italian American, Bob had risen from junior bookkeeper to managing partner at one of the biggest public accounting ﬁrms in the world. The ﬁrst impression Bob usually gave people was that he was unsuited for a role as a managing partner. He was big and brash READ PEOPLE 35 and loud. His speech and mannerisms reﬂected his blue-collar background rather than the upper-crust polish evident in his fellow partners. It was surprising that not only had he survived but he had thrived in this staid, conservative environment. However, that surprise was based on externals. As we worked with Bob, we came to discover many qualities that were hidden below the surface—qualities that his colleagues knew about and had appreciated for more than two decades. Bob had a great sense about people, and he could zero in on the mood of the room or, as he said it, “I feel the vibes in the organization.” He was an astute observer of people and, even as he talked to you, you could feel that there was continuous thinking and processing going on in Bob’s head. At times, he surprised people with his insights on how a client felt about a proposal or how a meeting went. On one occasion, when everyone else agreed that the meeting had gone well and the client seemed pleased, Bob differed. He insisted that there was more to it than that and that there were still unresolved issues in the client’s mind. It turned out that Bob was correct. Bob’s ability to identify emotions accurately was strong. How Do We Identify Emotions? As we noted in Chapter One, the ability to identify accurately how other people feel is critical, not just to success and happiness but perhaps to our very survival. This point was dramatically illustrated (with examples from many different species) by Charles Darwin in his wonderful book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.1 Recognizing the difference between a stranger who is friendly and ready to help you and a stranger who is unfriendly and ready to attack you can spell the difference between living another day and ending up dead. In our Emotional Blueprint, identifying emotions is ability number one. This ability consists of a number of different skills, such as accurately identifying how you feel and how others feel, sensing emotion in art and music, expressing emotions, and reading between the lines. Perhaps most critical is the ability to detect real versus fake emotions.2 36 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER Accurate Awareness Without emotional awareness, how can we distinguish whether we are feeling tired or sad, happy or nervous? Awareness is the essential building block for emotional intelligence. The ability to introspect has been highly touted among selfhelp advocates as a critical component of personal growth and development. What most self-help gurus fail to understand is that introspection and reﬂection can lead to worsening mood and can result not in insight but in feelings of depression and shame.3 Awareness is certainly an important component of emotional intelligence, but it must be accurate and not obsessive. We must know how we feel and be able to label our feelings appropriately if we wish to better understand ourselves and others. When we attempt to determine how we feel, we have to be fully aware of gradations and shifts of feeling. It’s important to know whether we’re frustrated during a sales presentation, or bored, or just tired. This information provides insights about the sales message itself. Expression of Emotion If emotions serve as a sophisticated but efﬁcient signaling system, then we not only need to be able to decipher signals but send them as well. Expressing emotion is relatively easy, but doing so accurately is somewhat more difﬁcult. Some people are “hard to read,” and the signals they send are either not clear or too subtle to be detected. Others are purposefully unexpressive. They may feel that it is inappropriate to express themselves, or they may be afraid of emotional expression for more personal reasons. In this case, they have the ability to express emotion, but they choose not to do so. Cultural and organizational display rules, which we discussed earlier, also come into play. The inability to accurately express emotion means that we do not send signals about ourselves and, as a result, our needs may not be met. If I am sad regarding a lost computer document that I required for a major meeting later that day, I need support at that time. My expression of sadness is likely to increase the chances of being supported, which, in this case, means someone taking time to help me recover the lost ﬁle. In another situation, if I am calm READ PEOPLE 37 and at ease but communicate a message that says something different about my emotional state, another person may incorrectly perceive me as a threat and take action against that perceived threat. “I didn’t think he really cared” is something that many managers will say about an employee who masks his passion for the job. The ability to communicate has survival value in other ways. Our interpersonal communications consist of both verbal and nonverbal cues. Our tone of voice, gestures, posture, and facial expressions are conduits for information. If the information enhances the verbal message, it is likely that the message will be communicated in a more accurate and meaningful way. Paul Ekman, a psychologist in the ﬁeld of emotional expression, has studied people’s ability to express emotions. Even though emotional expression begins to develop in infancy,4 Ekman ﬁnds that people differ greatly in their ability to express various emotions.5 Ability to Read People Right now, you are feeling a certain way—perhaps content and satisﬁed. Then a colleague approaches you and asks why you look so unhappy; he asks what the problem is. In this case, your colleague’s perceptions are not accurate. He may deﬁnitely feel that you are unhappy, but if you are not, then his perceptions are off-base. The ability to read facial expressions and identify the emotion expressed in that face accurately is a core skill. This ability is essential to our interpersonal survival and, perhaps, to our physical survival as well. Emotions are a signaling system, and emotions contain important data, as we mentioned earlier. If we are unable to read these signals, then our data and information about a situation is either incorrect or ﬂawed. Distinguishing between a person who is enraged and a person who is calm can make a critical difference in our own well-being. Determining friend from foe is only part of the importance of this ability. Perceiving emotion accurately allows us to approach a situation with some ﬁnesse. By the way, it’s not just people who display emotion. Our fourskill model of emotional intelligence also posits that this ability extends beyond emotional displays to the perception of emotion in 38 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER art forms such as music and sculpture and paintings. Art makes us think and feel. Art moves us, not just intellectually but emotionally as well. The power of music to convey emotion is well understood, or rather, well “felt” by most of us. Think of the chill of suspense that certain musical scores provide or the happiness you feel listening to certain tunes. Also consider the billions of dollars that are spent on advertising, trade shows, logo design, and branding. These seek to inﬂuence how people feel about a product, as well as how they think about it.6 Ability to Read Between the Lines Accurate emotional identiﬁcation also means that you can’t be easily fooled by people who are expressing an emotion they don’t actually feel.7 Although it is very easy to be able to smile on demand— witness many photographs with everyone smiling—it is harder to create a true smile if you are not feeling happy. Sometimes, people who are not emotionally aware pay a little bit of attention to facial and emotional expressions—just enough to see that there is an emotional display. What they miss, however, are the subtle cues that help to distinguish genuine from manipulated expressions of emotion. And sometimes you may be paying a great deal of attention to emotional displays but still misread the emotion. Some managers who don’t pick up on emotional cues at all, especially false cues, accept others at face value. They don’t go beyond the surface expression of emotion because they don’t see any need to do so. The result is that they see a smile, but it doesn’t occur to them that it might be a forced smile—one in which the mouth is smiling but the eyes are not crinkling as they should. This leads them to an incorrect conclusion, wrong basic assumptions, and faulty emotional information. Why Is Identifying Emotions Important? The advice offered to Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man8 (“but you gotta know the territory”) applies not just to sales but to all our interactions. That is, you need to have a basic understanding of a person or a sales territory in order to be effective. READ PEOPLE 39 Data for Decisions Accurate emotional identiﬁcation results in core emotional data that are required for decisions and actions. Without this base of data, how can we hope to make good decisions and take appropriate action? Even slight inaccuracies can have a major downstream impact on our lives. It’s like what happens when we take a compass bearing and follow it to some distant point. If that point is not far away, a slightly inaccurate reading has little impact on us. But a compass reading that is off by just one or two degrees, over a journey of hundreds of miles, can lead us to a point very far distant from our intended destination. Accurate emotional identiﬁcation is important, even in seemingly routine managerial tasks such as budget planning. Consider a meeting in which you present your annual budget to your direct reports and seek their buy-in and agreement. Lots of things need to happen correctly for you to get the data you need. First, your direct reports have to feel that you want feedback. Whether that message gets communicated or not will depend on the way you express emotion. You may subtly invite comment, or you may send signals indicating that you really don’t want any feedback. Second, your ability to read between the lines and pick out the accurate emotional signal in all of the noise of the team’s moods requires a fair amount of skill. One of your managers says that the plan looks ﬁne to him, but he sure does not seem ﬁne to you, as he shifts nervously in his chair. Another direct report complains that not enough money was allocated for his people, but there doesn’t seem to be much passion behind the complaint. Likely enough, he’s just trying to pad his budget against possible cutbacks later in the ﬁscal year. Opportunities to Explore Recognizing negative emotions accurately is a key to our well-being and, in some cases, to our physical survival. Accurately reading positive emotions may not have immediate survival value (at least for humans; in animals it may be an important cue for a mating opportunity), but it does help us develop and grow. Opportunities to explore our environment, to experiment, and to invent arise from 40 THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT MANAGER positive emotions. We approach situations and other people when we perceive positive emotions. Wouldn’t it be useful if we could detect the subtle signs of interest during a sales presentation or when we are interviewing for a job? Would that be a hint that you could use? Perhaps the encouragement you also seek? Your ability to be aware of positive emotions and to recognize them accurately can provide you with extremely important information about your world. It’s easy to dismiss the hunches or the gut feelings we have, and perhaps some of us should if our emotional read is inaccurate. But if we are accurate, then attending to positive feelings means we are onto something good. It’s like the game kids play when they search for a hidden object, and the person who hid the object tells them whether they are getting colder (further away) or warmer (closer). Positive—warm—feelings can signal that we are on the right track. Social Interaction and Communication Nonverbal information is often the basis for successful social interaction. This information consists of gestures, voice tone, and facial expressions. If we focus on a person’s words alone, we are at serious risk of misunderstanding the underlying message. Although the concept of body language received bad press some years ago, when it was exploited as a tool to pick up potential romantic partners, a great deal of research has been conducted in the area of nonverbal communication.9 Estimates vary, but as little as 10 percent of the information in an interchange between two people comes from their actual words, and the rest from tone of voice, gestures, and facial expression.10 Accurately identifying facial expressions and accurately expressing emotions is therefore a key to appropriate and successful interpersonal interactions. The person who is not skilled in identifying their own or another pers